Monday, September 11, 2006


The assignment this week is a little different than weeks past. There is no photo promt. There is only a written promt, or rather a contest prompt.Bulwer-Lytton is the inspiration for this weeks literary prose of mental refuse. There are a list of words you should look for as you move along from piece to piece: Putrefy, jewellery(yes spelled that way), encephalogram, aardvark, banana, zombie, and the phrase "It was a dark and stormy night"(which should appear in the opening lines if the author used it). Please remember to comment on each piece, we love comments, even if it's just a groan of pain.

“It was a dark and stormy night…” Sandy, reading out loud to herself, never noticed when
Anna shuffled into the room.
“My goodness, your scent becomes more repulsive every day.”
Anna gingerly picked her way around the space that was littered with debris.

“You’re going to putrefy your brain if you keep reading that drivel. Read something worthwhile, I myself prefer Melville or Dickens. The literary style which they use to paint eloquent pictures on the scenery of my mind, quiet up lifts the soul”
Anna, trying to find a place to sit attempted to clear a spot off, on the chair opposite her friend, moved: a stuffed aardvark, a half eaten banana, a pair of socks that seemed to have the ability to carry themselves across the room, and various other things, that her dear friend seemed to need to keep in easy reach.
“What is wrong with the comics?”
Sandy grabbed a tissue to wipe her eyes as they once again sent tears running down her cheeks like rain on a window pane.
”They make me laugh.” Her body was racked with sobs, that caused her entire being to shake, as if by a 6.0 earthquake that was only felt by her.

“I can see I will need to telephone Dr. Halfway and schedule another appointment for you sooner than I thought.” Anna having finally cleared the chair of the last of its inhabitants settled her rear into the chair, with a prim twist to each side to make sure her slacks didn’t pick up any extra wrinkles.
“oh!” Anna lept to her feet with an agility that any cat would admire. “I seem to have found the broach Ted gave you.” Handing the piece of offending jewellery to Sandy.
Sandy of course only cried harder at the sight of the gaudy pin.

Anna checked the chair again to make sure she didn’t miss any other surprises and settled back once more. She smoothed her raven locks to make sure none leaned against the furniture, not wanting to pick up any unwanted company that may be residing in the filth that surrounded her. She smoothed her well manicured hands over her designer slacks, to whisk away any offending creases that may have appeared, in her hurry to remove the pin from her posterior. Having made sure that everything was in place she continued on,

“ Dear heart, didn’t we discuss this when I was here the other day, that you can not go on like this. You simply must accept that Ted is gone, and move on with your life. There are so many men out there you can’t let one little set back stop you. Now, I will call Dr. Halfway and see if he can work you in more quickly. I will also call Bernard, and see if he has an opening, you will never attract someone of the opposite sex looking as you do now, or at least not one with a full set of teeth and a decent car.”

“I can’t” Sandy wailed erupting into another bout of sobs.

“Pish! You can and you will. You were doing so much better, what happened dear? You had taken a shower and actually managed to eat something that didn’t get delivered by an acne covered youth in cheap polyester. Tell me what set you back.”

Sandy started to answer her friend and comforter, but Anna cut her off before the first syllable ever escaped betwixt her lips.
“I mean really, darhling, it has been 3 weeks. I think that is more than enough time to grieve for this little relationship. You did nothing wrong it really was all his fault. I mean really, to expect you to go to such a place, did he not know you at all?”

Sandy shook her head, trying to interrupt, but Anna simply waved her hand and continued.

“And then to get murdered, while trying to acquisition tickets to such an event. Utterly reprehensible, did he give no thought to how this would reflect on you.?” Anna got up and began pacing the room,like a tiger in a cage, ignoring the guttural sounds coming from across the room.

She grabbed the floor length curtains that where closed holding the sun at bay from the apartment like gates of a city shut to keep out roving marauders. Yanking the material back to allow the sunlight to pour into the room, its beams crossing the floor and illuminating everything to its harsh reality.
“ Did he not give thought to the way his death would reflect to the rest of the world? Thank God it was a short marriage anything over two years and it might have reflected poorly on you, but you had just reached your one year anniversary hadn’t you? So no reflection on you, just him. It’s time to stop this silly weeping and get on with your life.” Anna turned back to face her friend, her hands poised so elegantly on her hips, in a move she had practiced a thousand times to show off her lithel form to its best advantage.

“He’s back!” Sandy finally got out as Anna stopped for the pregnant pause. Anna looked at her quizzically for a moment.
“Dear heart, I know this has been harder than it should have been, but really. Maybe I should call Dr. Fritz and schedule an encephalogram instead of having you see Dr. Halfway.”

Sandy just shook her head at her friend. “He’s back. I really need you to close the blinds please.” Said so quietly that Anna almost didn’t hear the words as they made their way into the room. Anna grabbed the draperies intending to close them to appease her friend, who seemed to her to have finally been broken by the grief she refused to let go of.

As darkness slowly crept over the room again Anna was made aware that some of the groans she assumed came from her grief stricken friend were actually coming from the other room.

"Dear Anna, you have been so good to me these past few weeks, trying to get me to come to grips with Teds passing.” Sandy moved across the room and took her friends well manicured hands into her own chapped and callused hands.
” But Ted came home last night, and we had a long talk. That’s why I called you. I wasn’t crying for Ted when you came through the door. I was crying for you.”
Anna looked at her friend truly at loss to understand the verbal messages coming from her mouth.
A groan sounded in the bedroom doorway, Anna looked up.
There stood Ted a zombie.
“See, dear Anna, your lunch.”


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Anonymous yomamma said...

Well, it is within the framework of the contest. I think you've been reading too much Piers Anthony myself. It is hard to write badly.

9/11/2006 01:36:00 PM  
Blogger Cath Smith said...


That's the sound of me falling on the floor.

I mean this in a good way - but oh, boy is that bad!

(note to self: damnit woman, spellcheck before you post!)

9/11/2006 03:51:00 PM  
Blogger Beav said...

Ha ha ha...that was fun!

9/11/2006 05:02:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pish! Such a lovely, trashy wallow! I enjoyed it--Soccer Mom.

9/11/2006 10:34:00 PM  
Blogger John VP said...

Awful ;-)

9/13/2006 02:48:00 PM  
Blogger John VP said...

And I just noticed this wonderful line: "Anna looked at her friend truly at loss to understand the verbal messages coming from her mouth."

9/14/2006 07:29:00 AM  
Anonymous Laurie said...

I love the ending! It's a masterpiece! Dark, gothic, romantic love-sick zombie humour, and trashy to boot!!!

9/15/2006 06:52:00 AM  
Blogger Uprooted said...

That was terrible! Bravo!

Especially loved:

“oh!” Anna lept to her feet with an agility that any cat would admire. “I seem to have found the broach Ted gave you.” Handing the piece of offending jewellery to Sandy.

Great use of key word in an incomplete sentence in an awkward paragraph! Now I want to go rewrite mine.

9/15/2006 08:51:00 PM  
Anonymous CaySedai said...

"Darling, lunch is served!"


9/15/2006 11:36:00 PM  
Blogger Cave Dweller said...

Whoa, I did not see that ending coming.

Anna was a good character to not like. Could almost see the shock and horror on her face without it being written.

Enjoyable, bad read! LOL

9/30/2006 11:49:00 PM  

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