Thursday, October 05, 2006

FFF#6 Carlie

This weeks promt was ...interesting to say the least. 500 words of fan fiction, for a show that never exsisted...yeah...more info on the show and it's fan base can be found here . so with out further ado I offer you this...

Journal date 12-2-2326

I am still trying to adjust to the people on this ship. I have been a wake for almost a week now, and I wanted to explore this place that is my new home. Urinna suggested I check out the “watering hole” which seems to be a gathering place for people on board. My past is still a mystery; I get flashes of faces and places I have been. It is so frustrating to not know. To not be able to answer the simplest questions, and yet have knowledge of things I don’t know how I know. Dr. Smith assures me this is normal for someone who has been in chryostasis for a long period of time.

The watering hole isn’t that remarkable, I suppose for being a bar on a ship it’s okay. It’s half the size of the mess and wasn’t that busy when I arrived. A few tables, the bar and a stage. The tables all seem to be the newest version though. The one I sat at was loaded with games and even had access to the ships library list. I wanted to pull up the book I had on loan and just sit there reading it. That wasn’t what I came here for though so I resisted the temptation.

The table also came equipped with a simulator, but I chose to just go to the bar itself and place an order. What I didn’t see was a bartender. The feeling that I was being watched came over me and I tried to casually look around. No one seemed to be paying me any attention though, the few people in the place where busy talking with others or engrossed in games . I still couldn’t shake the feeling though; Then I saw the cat.

No doubt in my mind what the creature was, like knowing how to play games or read, I knew this was a cat. I had not seen any animals on board in the time I’ve been here. I also knew that animals on board a ship like this wasn’t abnormal , but that they are usually smaller creatures that can be kept in a cage or aquarium. A tabby Manx, with larger amber eyes, it just sat on the bar looking at me as if it was waiting for something. I turned my back to the bar and the disconcerting cat. Scanning the room to see if I could spot the supply closet, thinking maybe the bartender was getting something. I turned back around to find the cat had moved. It was now sitting at my elbow, still staring at me with those intense eyes. I was about to pet it, when it backed away from my hand with a look of distain. It shook it’s head, and smiled. That freaked me out a cat smiling? Maybe this was another side effect from waking up. I tried to act like I didn’t notice anything .
“You must be Carlie,” The cat said, “What can I get you?”
Before I could say anything or back away from the bar, Urinna walked up.
“Hey, you met Bartles. He’s the best bartender we’ve ever had.”
I could only stare in shock…what kind of ship is this?

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Anonymous Lounge Flounder said...

Cute - my birthday. My head hurts too much to add up how old I'd be and get a little giggle. Jenn's mom is in the hospital - just found out - she is on her way down. At least I don't need to worry about a dearth of things to worry about!

I like the kitty bartender - interesting that with the cat, you are able to tell so much by the description and the attitude, but with the narrator, you feel you need to spell out the feelings. You should really start pushing yourself to make your characterizations more physical. Don't say that someone is having flashbacks and is confused, find a way to confuse the reader - bring us in.

When you get sick of such commentary, tell me to shut up. I will be waiting.

Love you.

10/05/2006 08:17:00 PM  
Blogger Bk30 said...

now how am I going to hone my craft if I get tired of hearing how to improve? If that happens please have me cremated as I will most likely be dead.

10/06/2006 01:10:00 AM  
Anonymous bobbiemonster said...

The only thing wrong with having a cat tend bar is that cats are totally selfabsorbed, while bartenders need to be focused on their clients. Other than that a great story, and I'm glad to see you try my favorite genre.

10/06/2006 10:10:00 AM  
Anonymous bobbiemonster said...

you left out the smack.

10/06/2006 10:24:00 AM  
Blogger SMG said...

I like the talking cat, you can't go wrong with talking animals.
Reminds me of the talking cat in Gene Wolfe's "The Knight", which I highly recommend.

A cat bartender would be positive for many reasons. For one thing it wouldn't have to commonly wipe the table since it would that simply by laying on it. I'm sure the cat has a robot helper.

10/06/2006 07:14:00 PM  
Blogger Kara said...

I was convinced the cat was something sinister, so I loved being surprised at the end when he turned out the be the bartender!

10/07/2006 10:47:00 AM  
Blogger Gwen said...

Cats are awesome (talking bartender cats are especially awesome) + Hiatus is (was, would have been) awesome + awesome writing=awesome fan fiction.
Just goes to show, you have to be careful about how you treat the "animals" you meet in science fiction. You might offend someone important!

10/11/2006 06:55:00 PM  

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