Tuesday, October 31, 2006

What is in a name?

I'll tell you. Everything. Yes, a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but I bet you ten to one she will be pissed that your calling some other flower by her name! In my life, I have had several nicknames, but I seem to keep changing mine. Not always because I out grow said nick name,but because some one else takes the darn thing. When I was younger I didn't really appreciate my given name. It was long, never fit in the bubbles on the standardized tests, and was spelled strangely. Then I came to appreciate my unusual spelling. Not many of us out there, like belonging to a special club. If I came across another Rebecca, I could say "oh, how do you spell yours?" That would get a strange look, but they would spell it out. I could then smile smuggly and say "oh, that's not how I spell mine. I use the bibical spelling." And walk off in my bubble of uniqucness. I was never called Becky, but Beka for years. I was the ONLY Beka I had ever heard of. Then along comes this little show called Life Goes On and their daughter goes by Beka. I no longer heard "oh that's an unusual name", to hearing "oh, did you get that off of the show?" It didn't help that I also had longer brown hair and wore glasses. Thus began my search for another nickname. Close friends and family still call me Beka and with the show being off the air it's not such a big deal, other than there are now WAY more Beka's (or otherwise spelled Becca's) running around.
I tried on Rebok, Reba (before she became really famous), Chewbaka (but seriously? what girl wants to run around with the same name as an 8 foot walking carpet?), and finally settled on BK, when I started hanging out on the net. This has been my nickname for 16 years now, BK. I was comfortable with it. I haven't come across any others. All was right and good in the land, and Bk was happy. Until....She sat down to watch a little of the World Poker Tour with her hubby. There is this a player Bobby or Billy something with the last name King. So the anouncers (or one of them at least) started calling the guy BK. NO, NO, NO, it's mine dang it! and I dont' want to share. I don't want to introduce myself and hear "oh, like the poker player?"
But then maybe it's just a chic thing or worse just a "me" thing.....

Monday, October 30, 2006

Blah Blah Blah

Yep, that's how I've been feeling too. I sit down to write, anything, and this is what I hear.."wha wha wha" like the adults off screen in a Charlie Brown cartoon. My concentration is shot, gone, left no fowarding address, and my urge to write went with it. I cut myself off from everything blog, e-mail, game and stared at my WIP. Guess what happened ...nothing,nada, zilch. Don't know why even. Tried to write for FireFlys holloween thing, PTHT!

On the home front, they finally let my dad out of the hospital and he seems to sound much better. Dad does not do well in confind spaces. His voice over the phone seemed weaker everyday. Scared the heck out of hubby when he called to talk to him. With Allen just losing my grandfather last year, and his dad this year, my dad going into the hospital just upset him more. But as soon as Dad got home to his own place his voice came back stronger than ever and we all sighed with relief. I know that I am older, and that means my parents are older, but somehow in my mind they are locked in at their mid-30's. Yes, I realize that isn't at all probable. But mentally, when I picture my parents, that is how I see them. To hear age in their voice bothers me. Maybe, it's because I don't see myself aging, and there by hold everyone at the ages I am comfortable with. Ah who knows, certainly not me.

I feel sorry for my kids, I really do. When I was in school my parents where forced to wait on things, such as progress reports or report cards to know how I was doing. That gave me lots of time to goof off and do what I wanted to do, instead of actually study. My kids don't have that option. The poor little buggers. No, in this day and age of instant information and technology I can see their grades daily, know what homework has been assigned, and can even tell you what they got on their most resent test. I try not to "abuse" this privalge, by only checking grades once a week or two. Trying to instill trust and responsibility in them, then I remember "oh, yeah, they're kids", when I check the grades and see what I saw this week. Not a single one has the minium requirement of C's or better. David is the best off, with only having 1 D and 1 F to pull up. Although his Math grade is a tightrope act at the moment. The others? Well, I'd rather not talk about it.

Fall is in the air,and on the Gulf Coast, that means cool nights and comfortable days in between rain showers. I really don't have a "favorite" season, although August is my least favorite month. Season changes here mean menu changes; and that, is always a good thing! Less stove top meals or salads and more hearty fare will begin to appear on the table. Slow cooked stews or a good pot of corned beef and cabbage started in the morning on the back burner and simmering all day, corn bread muffins covered in butter. yum yum. All ready my eyes are on the baking shelf when I open the pantry. A few cans of pumkin filling and some apple pie filling are calling my name. That reminds me...I need to call my Grandma get Papa's turnip pie recipe.....

Saturday, October 21, 2006

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programing

The management of Bk's brain would like to apologize for not posting these past few days, due to technical diffculties. Systems have been restored(we think) and posting should return to normal.
So much has happened in my "hiatus":
Oldest son turned 16 and was released from probation. Hubby had a Birthday too. I caught a nasty virus so did my computer. My dad is in the hospital with "fluid on his lungs". He says everything is fine.

This is my fathers way of telling me. " Hi, sweety, how are you?' "That's good, and how are my grandkids?" "Hey, let me give you this phone number to write down. Ready?" "No, not the number to my apartment, my hospital room."

A few weeks ago my sister-in-law and her boyfriend broke up. Neither wanted the cat they had taken from here a few months ago. They took the cat when we first started working with Maal, Slappy and Zoey. When Brian brought the cat back he just kind of dropped it off in the house and told the kids what he had done. Turns out that neither Tammy or Brian had worked with the cat as I had told them too. The result? I now have a pissed, scared, feral cat hidding in a bedroom. Maal took off when the cat showed up and as much as we have looked for her and called for her, I don't see her pulling a Slappy and comming back. She has been gone for about 3 weeks now. I have been working slowly, very slowly, with the other cat. She isn't named yet, for now I call her baby. As in "Hey. baby", or sweetie, or pretty thing. Depending on what comes out. I have managed to get her to come out from under the bed at the sound of my voice and she will eat in front of me. I no longer put the food under the bed but out a ways. She has started to come to my hand and rub against it. I am still letting her instigate the petting sessions, but they are lasting longer and I can touch her more firmly. She actually allowed me to hold her for a few minutes yesterday, which was great progress. Trust is still iffy. Trust with a cat is harder to build, I think, than with a dog; as you have fewer social situations where you can prove to the cat that you can be trusted. In this situation at least. With the other girls it was easier because they had run of the house. Once I defended them from the dogs and showed I was in charge that trust was established. The girls have no problems walking up to the dogs or rubbing on them because they trust I and the the rest of the family will keep them safe. The new girl is being introduced to the kids one at a time. Tonight Chris and Justin went in and sat with her while she ate. She went up to both boys and recieved pets. So, one week with me and the older boys and next week we will introduce the other kids. Setting a coven feeling between the cats is not easy. Max and the girls still don't get along perfectly, but strides have been made. They can all be in the same room for brief periods of time with out a fight erupting and they manage to eat together.
As for the Greyhounds they are doing well. Fry sat on command for the first time last week. Great joy and jubilation was had. Everything I have studied on the breed says it is not natural for a greyhound to sit, but as Fry does it on his own we just kept reinforcing the behavior every time he did it. Allowing Bear and Boogie to show off their tricks helped as well, I think.
Candy is not a sitter. Candy flops. When she is ready to lays down she goes from up right to instant lay down, no brief sit inbetween to work with. She has mastered comming on command faster than Fry though.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Dang you, Mom, and your voice inside my head...

Oh, I hate it! Someone posts something and I want to say something, that might be construde as mean or not tactful, and so I say nothing. I let it goooo. I might yell at the TV or computer moniter, but actually put it out there? noooo, not me. Until I get here. Even here though, I will stifle the my voice a little, because in the back of my mind I hear her. "A lady doesn't say anything if she can not say something nice." and yes, when lecturing she spoke just like that. She would give you that look and say "Tact, dear, is something you need to work on."

Those of you who have met my mother, know the look I mean. I'm not really sure how she pulls it off. She has always been a tall woman, but she makes herself appear taller. She looks down her nose at you and pierces you with those eyes and you can't move. You're paralized like a fly biten by a spider, completely at her mercy until she dismisses you. And you know when you've been dismissed. I have seen my mother unleash that look on grown men, while she is sitting down, and I swear the men shrank in size as she pinned them down.

Does this mean I don't speak my mind? no. Another thing my mother taught me was to express myself, just to becareful how I do it. I have learned, from that little voice in my head, paitence and the value of a well placed word and tone. Do I always use the tools she has given me? nooo.
That has landed me in more hot water than I care to discuss at this time. When I do use them though they serve me well. So, as annoying as that voice is, I still listen to it...most times.

It has kept me from talking about the new shows out this season, or at least the ones I'm watching, until tonight. One show in particular Studio 60: On the sunset strip. I held my piece because I wasn't sure I was going to like it. I like the cast, okay, I love the cast, as individual actors. I liked the premise of the show, what I didn't fall in love with was the first episode. Studio tried to come out swinging, fast paced, and leaving you with a feeling of WTF. They nailed it in a scene or two, but the rest of the time, it seemed like they were just trying to keep up with it's big brother West Wing. The last scene of the premier made me decide to give the show a second chance. This week cinched it. I am converted, I love this show. From the opening scene until the credits ran I laughed. I laughed so hard my niece thought I was crying..now that is a goood laugh.

Still weighing in on a few shows. Shark, high drama, good conflict between characters..but really I need another law show? The class: I like the cast. I like that each "story" is seperate so you get like mini plays inside a big play. Not loving some of the issues that they have going for plot lines. One extra marital affair and the conciquences of that choice okay..But last nights episode showed there is another one...why? The second couple was funny enough with out the added drama. Hello, guy runs girl over with car, picks her up from hospital and she gets blown away in a hurricane..funny stuff..like watching a train accident. Really it was good on it's own. So I am biding my time before I say this is in the line up or not for monday nights.

Ugly Betty: I like this one.

Men in Trees: Jury still out

The Nine: like it

Jericho: still 50/50. yes I know Skeet is in it and that is partly why I keep watching, but if it remains the only reason I am watching-it won't be enough.

Six Degrees: Jury still out.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Calgon...take me away!

Ever had one of those weeks? I'm not talking a really good week or a really bad week. I mean one of those weeks that make roller coaster designers jealous. If they could mimic the highs and lows in a week like I've had they would have the mother of all roller coasters.

The family has suffered a loss this week our beloved chihuahua Beaudreaux (Boo for short) past away very suddenly. Boo came into our lives unexpectantly shortly after Hurricane Katrina. My daughter had been screaming for months that she wanted a chihuahua, and my husband seconded her motion. He had had on named Chester when growing up and swore they were great dogs. I had no interest in a yappy little fur ball with permenant shakes. I did not have a high opinion of the breed, as I had never met one that I liked. One afternoon while my husband and I pulled into petsmart to pick up rat food. I saw a couple standing by a car holding a sign that said Free Chihuahua to good home. I innocently enough pointed it out to my husband, who turned the car around so fast you would of thought he was in a high speed chase. Long story short they were displaced and couldn't keep the dog anymore, they had a baby to think of. So Boo came home with us. I was not suprised with the bond he formed with my husband and children. I was suprised at the bond I formed with him. Boo was not a yapper, he didn't have the shakes. He was brave and out going and loved life and to play. Even the cats knew he was a special dog and thought he was their personal play toy. I never laughed so hard, as watching my cat Max chase Boo through the house( the cat being bigger than the dog). They would sleep together curled at my feet, and use each other as chew toys.

The first nine weeks is over, and as soon as I have complete confirmation of grades I will post them. This whole school period has been a study in roller coasters, up and down, went the grades. Chris has some things going on that have effected him negatively, but that seems to be passed and we are already seeing great improvements in him.

I'm sick again, with something. I swear since we've moved here I've been sicker than I have in my whole life and I just don't understand it. We pulled out the moldy carpet because I couldn't breath, put in hardwood that is easly swept and dusted. repainted, replaced sheet rock, still something continues to make me ill. Can you just develope allergies out of no where? But that wouldn't explain my kermit the frog, who slipped razor blades down my throat, feeling I get.
I feel it comming on too. The itch under the skin on your back that you can't scratch, The tickle in your throat, that will have you convorting your toungue, in ways I don't think God intended. You twist it and turn it trying to reach that spot by your tonsils that you just can't scratch. You grab the q-tip(tm) ignoring the warning on the package of where not to stick it. Shoving the swab in as far as you can to scratch from one side, while your tongue gets the other. It is 85 degrees outside, and I keep alternating between sweats and fuzzy slippers ,and trying to get as close to naked as I can.

My friend, Matt, over atFireflies in the Cloud is hosting a flash fiction contest for Holloween.
The prizes are awesome (and as I uh forgot to order his book this weekend-sorry Matt-) I am really thinking of entering. He did say Holloweeny/horror-ly so trying to let my mind come up with something. I really do want the autographed copy of his Trailer Park Fairytales and the picture from Lili ( I have just the spot picked out on my desk for it). Even if you don't enter..order his book; cause wether I order it or win it..I probably won't share my copy! So click on the link above or follow the link to your right ----> but check it out...

Thursday, October 05, 2006

FFF#6 Carlie

This weeks promt was ...interesting to say the least. 500 words of fan fiction, for a show that never exsisted...yeah...more info on the show and it's fan base can be found here . so with out further ado I offer you this...

Journal date 12-2-2326

I am still trying to adjust to the people on this ship. I have been a wake for almost a week now, and I wanted to explore this place that is my new home. Urinna suggested I check out the “watering hole” which seems to be a gathering place for people on board. My past is still a mystery; I get flashes of faces and places I have been. It is so frustrating to not know. To not be able to answer the simplest questions, and yet have knowledge of things I don’t know how I know. Dr. Smith assures me this is normal for someone who has been in chryostasis for a long period of time.

The watering hole isn’t that remarkable, I suppose for being a bar on a ship it’s okay. It’s half the size of the mess and wasn’t that busy when I arrived. A few tables, the bar and a stage. The tables all seem to be the newest version though. The one I sat at was loaded with games and even had access to the ships library list. I wanted to pull up the book I had on loan and just sit there reading it. That wasn’t what I came here for though so I resisted the temptation.

The table also came equipped with a simulator, but I chose to just go to the bar itself and place an order. What I didn’t see was a bartender. The feeling that I was being watched came over me and I tried to casually look around. No one seemed to be paying me any attention though, the few people in the place where busy talking with others or engrossed in games . I still couldn’t shake the feeling though; Then I saw the cat.

No doubt in my mind what the creature was, like knowing how to play games or read, I knew this was a cat. I had not seen any animals on board in the time I’ve been here. I also knew that animals on board a ship like this wasn’t abnormal , but that they are usually smaller creatures that can be kept in a cage or aquarium. A tabby Manx, with larger amber eyes, it just sat on the bar looking at me as if it was waiting for something. I turned my back to the bar and the disconcerting cat. Scanning the room to see if I could spot the supply closet, thinking maybe the bartender was getting something. I turned back around to find the cat had moved. It was now sitting at my elbow, still staring at me with those intense eyes. I was about to pet it, when it backed away from my hand with a look of distain. It shook it’s head, and smiled. That freaked me out a cat smiling? Maybe this was another side effect from waking up. I tried to act like I didn’t notice anything .
“You must be Carlie,” The cat said, “What can I get you?”
Before I could say anything or back away from the bar, Urinna walked up.
“Hey, you met Bartles. He’s the best bartender we’ve ever had.”
I could only stare in shock…what kind of ship is this?

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Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Oh sweet seductive chocolate...blog chain#7

What is it about chocolate that women adore? Oh I know not all women love it, but 99.9% of us do. For reasons beyond our ken. Not all woman (or people in general), like the same types of chocolate. Some adore white chocolate, others milk chocolate, some only like dark chocolate, and yet many love chocolate in any form.

I can not stand white chocolate. My reason is very similar to why I no longer like real butter. Take Easter, add a solid white chocolate lamb, and me; you can fill in the blanks by now I'm sure.

Milk chocolate in small doses is fine but not my favorite. It is to sweet and always requires (IMHO/in my humble opinion) a glass of milk or cup of coffee no sugar, to cut the sweet.

Dark chocolate..oh..dark chocolate: Its seductive silky texture, the way it dances on my taste buds, lightly touching and teasing a response from them, the thickness of it, one little morsel holds so much flavor. It assaults all of my senses at once; the rich scent engaging my nostrils in the euphoria that is about to occur, the smooth weight of it in my hand, and the hint of sweetness as it grazes my lips to meld with my taste buds, the final burst of endorphines causing my brain to call out in pure ecstasy..yes! yes! yes!

There is a reason when a woman gets cranky her friends will offer one of two solutions to her current mood. Offer #1...you need some chocolate. Offer #2 you need to get.....

It is all about the pleasure. Women love pleasure. We love pleasure so much, we can get pleasure from almost anything. Sitting in the sun letting its warm rays caress our skin. Light gentle kisses from a cooling breeze. Having a hard day at work..just emerse yourself in thoughts about getting home and settling into to a warm bubble bath, with a good book. See, already you can take a breath and some of the tension is gone.

Our minds allow us to tap that knowledge, we know how the warm water will feel on our skin, the heat seeping in to massage the muscles, and we power through with that one seductive thought in the back of our minds...

It is why women remind men of cats, we are both sensual beings.

edited to add, the thought of chocolate made me lightheaded I forgot the next link. peggy is up!

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Guess what time it is boys and girls.....

That's right, it's the AW Cooler's blog chain #7. Unlike previous additions where you received warning, and had time to prepare..I bring it to you in full (okay partial) swing. All I can say is it's the first of October and the fall nip, must of nipped the writing bug good. Here is the list of contributing blogs..lots of familiar names on the list, some that didn't get to play last round are back.






Atomic Bear


XThe NavigatorX







The first post is already up and off to a great start!

This past week has been interesting for me. I found some old friends via MySpace(tm) and have spent much time in my head reliving parts of my past. Some good, some not so good. I think the past is a place we should all visit once in a while; even, the parts that hurt. The reason being, by remembering the past: where we've been, what we've done, who we have hurt and been hurt by, we can see how we got to who we are now; In this moment of the tapestry that is our lives. A checks and balance sheet of ourselves.

I love that with these people comming back into my life, it seems like they were not even gone. Oh lots of catching up and this is what I'm doing now, but that bond, is still there. Picked up right where it left off. How long will they stay this time? who knows..well you know what I mean.

People who have known you as long as they have known me and I them, you can't bs. You can't hide who you were verses who you are now, they know, they were there. What they do is reaffirm how you've changed and how you haven't. They ground you, they understand things about you that others can't, and probably never will, because they were there when whatever caused you to be who you are happened.

Friendships are like books in one way..you can put them on the shelf, but sometimes you pull that book down again and relose yourself in it's story..sometimes..you get a sequel.